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kob131 · 4 years ago

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4DPZGlNP8I

I was watching MangaKamen’s video deconstructing Cvit’s Persona 5: Style Over Substance video and I...I just couldn’t watch it. Basically, Kamen’s own videos on RWBY and Cvit’s Persona 5 video are way too similar (in that both make logical fallacies just to avoid their assumptions.) So, despite covering this briefly, I’ll do it in full here.

And if MangaKamen himself sees this: You can’t keep responding to people, criticizing them for stuff that you do yourself. I literally couldn’t listen to your video on Cvit because of the hypocrisy. Stick to your own standards: people respect you more for it.

P.S. Don’t create a circlejerk in the reblogs and replies. I do not have the patience for it today.

Before I begin, I should point out a small bit of hypocrisy. In his “Cvit Doesn’t Understand Video”, he complains about an influx of videos all about going into unnecessary details about how X things suck, calling it the ‘Joseph Anderson effect.’ I bring this up because one of the videos he brings up is The Cosmonaut Variety Hour’s video on Kingdom Hearts (which is, being generous, 22 minutes.) MangaKamen’s video is, again generously, 38 minutes. And I do mean generaously because I automatically rounded up Cosmonaut’s and rounded down Kamen’s videos. I don’t think he should be complaining about that.

While you could argue he was also complaining about the title as well: A. Kamen’s first RWBY video was literally titled “Whats Wrong With RWBY?!” with a title saying “Here’s why RWBY Sucks” in big bold letters. B. His video makes fun of people who are there to disagree with his title and nothing else and C. I watched Cosmonaut’s video on Kingdom Hearts: He’s actually more positive towards Kingdom hearts 3 than Kamen is to RWBY.

This is a small microcosism of he issue with his hypocrisy: it ends up affecting the quality of other videos too.

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His first section is on ‘contrivances’ or ‘things that happen in a story that don’t make sense’. Before he even gives a true example, we run into yet another problem with Kamen. In his explanation, Kamen mocks the scene were Jaune gets hit on by the mothers of the kids he’s helping with an image of Miles Luna saying ‘Remember, NOT a self-insert!’.

Issue? The episode wasn’t written by Miles Luna, it was written by Eddy Rivas. How do I know?

The episode says so. This is especially egregious because he chews Cvit out for just typing in “Persona 5 sucks” into google and saying a certain source popped up...and yet typing in “Miles Luna Jaune Arc Self Insert” would actually bring up something that outright shows Miles is self conscious about Jaune to the point of avoiding his scenes (https://www.reddit.com/r/RWBY/comments/7x3w4s/crwby_ama_w_miles_luna_kerry_shawcross_and_paula/du5dnc6/?context=3). So while Cvit may have been looking for evidence instead of thinking critically: he at least took the effort of doing a search result whereas Kamen probably made an on the spot decision with no sources whatsoever. Combine this with the fact this is not the first time he’s taken potshots at Miles and you have an effectively WORSE version of what he says Cvit did.

“But this is just a joke!” Yeah, and Sham-Amon was a joke about M. Night Shamalyan by Doug Walker. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t an insult and was correct (Shamalyan was actually a reason why the Airbender movie even RESEMBLED the cartoon.) That doesn’t make this okay, especially since I know a similar ‘joke’ towards someone he’s a fan of would get you a video made on you.

Now onto one of his examples: He says it makes no sense for Robyn to be allowed to run for Atlas’ council because ‘she is stealing supplies from the government.’ Issue is: judging by the footage he’s using, he’s talking about Volume 7 Episode 5 “Sparks” where Robyn created a blockade and stopped a supply truck Qrow, Clover, Penny and Ruby were on. She never actually makes a move to steal the supplies in the episode though. While you could argue it wwas implied because she had people behind them hiding behind camoflague-

In his Cvit video, he criticized the guy for saying that we don’t know how long Futaba’s friend was abused by her parents when Cvit makes the argument that the friend was abused for over a decade, never entertaining other possibilities. You know, what he does. (P.S. Sparks is the same episode with the Jaune-Mothers ‘joke’.)

He uses this faulty and hypocritical point to jump off into how it would be a bad look for her to steal from the government even if it was for a good cause and that most government prevent people from running because of this. See, not only is this still based on a point even Kamen would argue is not enough- The context in the scene (that Mantle hates Atlas government and Robyn’s platform is based off that discontent...Huh) would show that even if she was stealing, it would HELP her image. As for the ‘governments prevent people convicted of theft for running for office’- She hasn’t stolen anything yet STILL. Also, in his Cvit video, he complains about a point where Cvit’s source edited out preceding text to make the phrasing of a certain textbox look extremely awkward. So again, hypocrisy.

Then we have...another shitty joke. A really bad one too. It’s the scene with Weiss and Winter talking the training room with the audio taken out and speech bubbles that say ‘Why are we just staring at each other?’ ‘I dunno...just to look cool?’. Not only is this blatantly not what is happening (you can tell their heads are bobbing from talking), I literally cannot take this ‘joke’ any other way than a malicious potshot at the show. It doesn’t function any other way. I’m trying to be calm and concise but this stuff really harms any benefit of doubt I can give.

His next point is-Oh god damnit, the fucking Penny frame up AGAIN. You know what is more frustrating than a shitty point? A shitty point repeated ad nauseum. Before Kamen even made this video, I had already argued every single perspective of this. There’s literally nothing new he can give?

Security? We never see how Tyrian got in and considering his immense agility and stealth: he could snuck in or hid in the warehouse.

Fanaus night vision? Not all Fanaus have night vision and most of the crowd was seen trying to rush out of the warehouse (during a scene Kamen shows no less). He also says the show alludes to Atlas being a racially biased system...even though Jacques Schnee says he pays all his workers equally (AKA he treats all his workers like shit.)

Scrolls? Again, most of the people are shown trying to run away and no one who remains is said to have brought their scrolls.

Break in the argument for a smug laugh even though all he’s done is repeat other people’s failed arguments. (Issue with either being bitch basic with your arguments or copying others? I’ll have fought the issue long before you make it.)

Ends with saying “When the lights come back on, there’s no blood on Penny’s blades!” (Cognitive bias against Atlas. Like say, calling a character a self insert over a scene that wasn’t written by the person.)

He goes onto say that this is just the latest example of contrived writing but because his points are all faulty, it doesn’t come across as contrived: it comes across as normal but Kamen is too focused on making everything look as bad as possible.

“But what about Robyn’s Semblance?!”

I dunno, why do people say that the Covington Catholic kids are still racist when we have proof otherwise? Cognitive bias is a thing. Robyn wouldn’t try testing this (even assuming she COULD since it would be logical Penny just ran off after this in fear) because it al ready confirms her own biases.

His whole temper tantrum here is all based on around pure logic...something he himself has argued against in media. This thing goes on and on and it just test my paitence and gives me more and more reason to assume Kamen isn’t just missing info, he’s indulging in willful ignorance.

Then we have him bitching about Yang and Blake telling Robyn what is going on and how it’s contrived that they would think that Robyn was on their side since she hasn’t done anything good. Issue? This is all based on KAMEN’S perspective. A perspective that, at best, is heavily biased against Robyn.

Thing is, Robyn’s thefts (which began AFTER he said they did) were to help repair the break in Mantle’s wall protecting them from the Grimm, something Team RWBY agrees with. Of course they’d assume Robyn is a good guy since she’s acting in the interests of the people, something they do as well. Robyn’s only bad when you completely ignore how James brushes over the current struggles of the people is elected to protect and serve in order for his bigger picture, a method they don’t agree with. Something the show is showing isn’t a good idea as people see him as uncaring and unfeeling to their struggles.

“But Ironwood has been helping them!”

Cool. That has nothing to do with him alienating his own allies through his paranoia, causing Yang and Blake try and make peace with Robyn themselves. There’s also the fact that the team should be opposing this. After all, it’s the same thing Ozpin did to them and they chewed him out over it. And unlike with the lying to Ironwood, there would be no hints that this hypocrisy would be intended by the showrunners. So Kamen is literally advocating for bad writing here.

This was added in post edit by the way so the man literally shoved in a point that does nothing but push the theory he is biased without ever considering what is necessary in the show. Even though he demands it from others. It’s really inconsistent. Dare I say...the standards are contrived?

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Next is the ‘design work’ part. He’s says this is gonna be positive for a moment and it does lack his usual malice. Doesn’t mean it’s good.

He criticizes the designs of the main cast besides Ruby. He says that Blake’s design now emphasizes the color white despite supposedly being black before. Issue is that her alternate Vol.2 and Vol.4 designs also emphasized the color white and her original design has equal part black and white. Weiss’s is supposedly that her dark blue dominates her design and is too busy to be elegant. Issue is that it’s only on the jacket and it’s mostly the same color as her previous design (even having more white.) As for being elegant: I could definitely argue it goes for a military-esque elegance. And Yang is...too brown? Uh...her original outfit was dominated by being brown.

He praises Ruby’s for still having it’s red coloring but...it’s too red. Her original design was actually closer to being goth than Blake’s and was mostly black with bright red frills and her signature cloak. And her hair has drastically changed, like he complained about with Blake. He really shouldn’t be giving Ruby a pass here.

I have nothing to say about his point ‘they’re all too busy.’ I feel like any side I take will be too heavily influenced by my own feelings at this point.

He complains about the logic behind the long fabrics being easy to grab onto and says that because they justified the new outfits with ‘it’s cold’ they should listen here. Issue- Not only are these two different trains of logic but by his own arguments, he should be arguing for all of them to wear white and wear bulky armor since that’s logical as well, following his logic. He doesn’t set what the limit should be.

Honestly this whole part is just kind of fluff. A lot of nothing was said and kind of feels like it was put in just to make the argument ‘Well I said something nice about RWBY!’

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Next up is ‘consistency’. ... Oh god.

“Aura was rewritten!’ He never cites what happened here but I know this dance so well I could get paid for it. Aura has always been a thing you needed to activate, back in Volume 1 where Jaune was cut by a branch and Pyrrha said ‘why don’t you use your aura?’. The supposed inconsistency comes from WOR: Aura saying it was passive even though certain definitions and uses of passive work under these examples. He also says that people cant use their Semblances when they run out of Aura but they still do, citing that old example of Yang’s Aura flickering in her character short. Flickering, not breaking. Meaning she still has Aura.

He also adds in that point about the WOR Atlas saying that the cold of Solitas killed the Grimm. While they are depicted as freezing here, it should be noted that the Grimm have been known to evolve and adapt. Meaning they could have easily evolved to withstand the cold. Again, editing out context which he says is bad.

“Hey, Miles. Kerry. You ever gonna acknowledge what you showed in the World of Remnant again these days?”

Dunno, are you ever gonna acknowledge what you say in your own videos? Glass houses Kamen.

I also find it funny that he calls out the ‘it’s just a cartoon!’ thing out of nowhere on a tangent even as he previously blocked me over this. Apparently contrivance is okay if it can be used as a shield. And if he has a problem with this, look over your videos not even just the RWBY ones You have said harsher- deal with it.

He goes onto criticize the argument of not all Fanaus have night vision because of specific moments...with Blake and Sun, only two Fanaus. In fact, the first example has him say that Blake and Sun used their night vision to escape a White Fang meeting. ... White Fang. Fanaus. He’s trying to argue that this is a case of Blake and Sun having night vision to contrast when she apparently ‘doesn’t’ but never notices that his own argument kind of confirms what the show said.

Then we have his other example of Blake against Illa were she couldn’t see Illa. A chameleon Fanaus. With camoflague. Where lighting up the room would alter how the colors look to see her more easily. ....

This whole point was about how the show doesn’t give strict rules to the Fanaus night vision, even though other shows with more fundamental powers (as in, the thing their premise is based on) bend these rules (like MHA with so many Quirks not being related to their physiology or Jojo bending every single Stand rule) for their plot. This isn’t directly bad as he says it is and he never emphasizes why anyone should care other than the strawman of ‘STRICT RULES!’ even as his own favorites don’t follow that.

He also says there’s no repercussions for the Penny cover up since he says it was to cause a riot to attract the Grimm but the Grimm disappear and people are being arrested for their rioting in the next episode. ... The Grimm don’t invade until Episode 9. He’s talking about Episode 7. The arrest was for breaking curfew that Ironwood imposed afterwards to due the discontent from Jacques winning. Then we have the fact that Penny’s frame up leads to Robyn actually stealing supplies, which leads to Yang and Blake telling her about Amity, which leads to Ironwood’s paranoia taking over. So you know...kind of some of the biggest repercussions in the show.

I also remember he said it was to frame Penny in his contriavances section...which makes no sense if it was meant to cause a riot directly afterward. In trying to callout inconsistencies that don’t exist, he became inconsistent himself.

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Next part is “Don’t Show, Never Show”. .... How professional.

He begins by bitching at other people for misrepresenting his arguments about the Fanaus and how their oppression isn’t well shown. ... After he’s personally attacked the creators over a subject one of them is innocent and self conscious of and will mock that person for mocking his critics. Classy.

“Jacques is Orange Man bad stand-in-”

A. He never mentions anything about securing Atlas’ borders and in fact wants to OPEN them.

B. He’s never talked about making Atlas great or appealing to any sort of false patriotism.

C. He opposes the military whereas Trump supports them.

D. He has no slogans for his campaign, especially none like Trump’s/

E. He isn’t colluding with foreign powers aside from a generic bad guy orgnazation with no connections to the countries Trump is accused of.

F. Jacques being a slimy business man was made before Trump came into the presidency.

And G. Robyn Hill only connections to Hilarily Clinton is a gender and half a name (a name that is actually rather common in real life). In fact, considering her position is all about distrust in the government and appealing to the common man- She’s a closer stand in for TRUMP than Hilarlily.

Again, argument’s been made a thousand times, beaten it a thousand times.

His overall point is that Jacques is said to be a terrible parent but not shown, using the line from “This Life is Mine” ( Amazing how you conquered me, Chained me in servility) before going on to say that he ‘let her go to a different school’ (he was forced to), ‘Do whatever she wants so long as it doesn’t affect his business and reputation’ (contradicted by cutting her off, trying to limit her actions because of her ignoring his calls even though that does not affect his business or reputation), ‘spending his money at Beacon until she ignores his calls’ (finical abuse 101) and ‘she embarrassed him at a party by assaulting one of the guests.’

... The woman was outright mocking the people she knew, the ‘assault’ was an accidental summon, Jacques was trying to prevent her from just getting away from him, Jacques pressured her into singing for him despite her discomfort and never once tries to talk to his daughter like a person or calm her down, instead trying to silence her. All of THIS without getting his physical intimidation of grabbing her and slapping her, which is what Kamen strawmans the response being. Also ignoring what he did AFTER the slap, effectively trapping her in her room and spreading the idea she was unstable to save his image.

No amount of money matters here, ignoring once again that he tried withholding it once she acted outside what he wanted. That is the ‘chains of servility’ and I know you wouldn’t argue this outside RWBY. You’d be calling this ignorant beyond acception, Kamen.

“The worst examples of Jacques’ abuse happen outside the-”

Jacques’ worst abuse was being trapped in her own room for calling out the callousness of people smack talking a tragedy she went through. This is effectively mocking a war in front of a veteran then locking them in the basement while telling everyone they’re coocoo. That is in the show, stop trying to blame other materials THAT DO NOT EXIST just to appeal to a common compliant (about supplemental materials in RWBY).

“Well Winter abuses Weiss!”

So let me get this straight. A small smack on the back of the head before asking about her personal life to show she cares about Weiss (another example of cutting context) is at all comparable to abuse of parental power, controlling Weiss like a puppet and locking her up? What was your definition of contrivance and consistency again?

“Can I go off on a tangent?”

No. You have not earned that right. You have far exceeded any patience I should have given you. The fact I am STILL HERE is too much and I should just throw the rest of the video in that garbage dumb your delusion of the writing is. But I will STILL give you chance.

P.S. You use HBomberguy as an example? Even though one of the videos you chewed out in your Persona video (’Steven Universe is Garbage and Here’s Why’) is BASED OFF his work? So what? His hours long shit talking is okay? And no, this is not

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His next segment is titled ... “Okay What Is This Shit I’m Actually Cratching My Head I’m So Dumbfounded And Confused AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

... You misspelled “Scratching”.

He says the Grimm Attack after Robyn’s failed election was handled off screen. That never existed and the Grimm attacked THREE EPISODE LATER and is handled on screen.

He says that Jacques being arrested makes no sense because Watts can control technology and should have used it disable the security cameras in the Schnee Manor. As he outright says, Willow hid those cameras and Watts HACKS technology and cannot hack what he DOES NOT KNOW EXISTS. It’s outright said BY THE SHOW and SHOWN that he cannot just magically control technology.

He also questions how Willow got those cameras in there, ignoring that Jacques DOES NOT HAVE OMNISCENCE. Why she did when she SAID it was to make sure he didn’t abuse her kids. When doesn’t fucking matter. It’s all pendantic bullcrap. You can apply this to any situation in media and I know Kamen would bitch about the show’s pacing if they did this because it would be boring as fuck.

He says that there was no foreshadowing that Willow set these cameras up which I would like to give...if not for the rest of his video which illustrates to me he would have made this point with or without foreshadowing.

“How come Robyn isn’t being arrested because she stole supplies?!”

A. Because you keep inferring she stole supplies BEFORE the election, I’ll have to assume it’s the same here and say SHE DIDN’T.

B. If you aren’t and have changed to saying AFTER the election: The show SHOWS YOU that they’ve been trying to arrest her. She’s been EVADING them.

C. If it’s at Jacques’ house: Remember what you said about image? Wanna guess how damaged Ol Jimmy’s image will be if he arrests his biggest critic while under suspicion of rigging the election against her AND being questioned for supposed abuse of power?

D. Gee, not like the heating system in an artic climate shut down, Jacques just got exposed for helping a KNOWN CRIMINAL TOO, The Grimm actually invade, they have to save all the people, things collapse between RWBY and Ironwood and a fuckton of other things of higher priority than one woman stealing supplies to fix something IRONWOOD HIMSELF SHOULD BE FIXING.

“Hur dur, Salem generic’

Says the Jojo and Yugioh fan. Say, how did your precious VRAINS turn out again hm?

“HEY, WHY NO RUBY TELL IRONWOOD AND TAKE RESPONBILITY?!”

Maybe because there’s a bunch of soulless abominations currently running amok in a city full of innocents so she should take responsibility as an official Huntress and do her damn job while the comparatively combat inept Oscar handle the non combat situation. Or did you want contrivance to work in your favor even though you’ve been proven to be a biased liar who will betray everything he stands in order to make a shit point about a flawed show he couldn’t criticize with a fucking guide on it?

“Why not have Ruby stand behind and say ‘I’ll catch up with you later’?-”

Because you’ll cut context and make her look irresponsible. Your suggestions mean NOTHING when you have proven that you have no honesty on the subject and will flip flop to suit yourself.

Also I love how you mock Mediaocrity4 for ‘treating his opposition as idiots’ as your fucking video STARTED and is littered with you doing JUST THAT. Fuck, I bet you’ll do JUST THAT with this post.

“Oh look at this character who has been shown as overly emotional, rash and prone to not thinking when mad act in line with her character how dumb!”

Gee, like say...., A shut in otaku making constant video game and anime references in, let’s say, a JRPG filled with these references?

Huh, guess you agree more with Cvit than you say.

“Dur, fistcuffs mean Jojo!”

Oh wait, Fist of the North Star did it first. And it’s a stable in most fighting anime. But hey, who cares in Kamen shanks Jojo in the back if it means lashing out against RWBY amirite?

“It’s like the context of the fights-”

Where the Ace Ops against RWBY are highly emotional, having felt betrayed by people they though as comrades and acting individually instead as duos or even as a team while all being people with shown emotional issues failing to defeat a far calmer and more developed team that have been working with them and are aware of their flaws?

Or that Clover tried to blindly follow Ironwood’s orders just as Qrow did in the past with Ozpin as the two characters heavily mirror each other, Qrow tried to fight Tyrian at first even as Clover attacked him and never actually helped Tyrian (in facting ATTACKING HIM at one point) after Clover tried arresting him in front of Robyn, someone known to do rash things when it comes to Ironwood?

I’m so glad you decided to FOR ONCE IN THIS ENTIRE, NEARLY FOURTY MINUTE VIDEO actually pay attention to the show and not the memes of the people who agree with you.

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“Conclusion”

‘Like I said in the Steven Universe Movie, I don’t let the fanabse dictate my opinion on something-’

Which is why there wasn’t a single original viewpoint, perspective, criticism, wording or even ‘jokes’, all shit ripped straight from the mouths of others. It’s all shit I’ve seen before by other people. If I absorbed even more of this bullshit, I’d probably be able to see exact wordings in here too, I am THAT certain you didn’t think about this for yourself.

If you did, you would have noticed that you were repeating the exact same mistakes you constantly criticize in others. You would have seen that you were making assumptions based on your preconceived notion of ‘RWBY bad’ and not what the show itself was doing. You would have seen the vidnictive smugness you decried MatPat over. You would have seen the immense hypocrisy you called out before. You would have stuck to what you called your principles.

You have the failures of your biggest targets in this very video. The bias and brain rot of Quinton Reviews, the hack job of MatPat, the manipulativeness of Verlsify, the sheer level of bullshit of Cvit. You burned every single standard you set for others here, you did every wrong thing you screamed about, you failed in the same ways as those you profited from criticizing. Again, because I said all this THE LAST TIME and yet you got WORSE.

You mock and belittle the creators even as you give them every reason to treat you like shit because even the worst they’ve done looks justified compared to what you pulled. ‘Oh they said that people being mean is so bad!’ says the man preying on his weakness. ‘Oh he’s shit talking his critics!’ says the open liar. ‘Oh the writing was done by platypuses!’ says the man who wants to be taken seriously. ‘Oh it’s just a joke!’ Says the man who bitched out MatPat over jokes.

And I guarantee you’ll cry foul at me if you ever find this, decrying me as just a salty RWBY fanboy. And this time, I’m not accepting any excuses. You HAD your chances.

4chan trolls are more respectable than you. They have principles and stick to them. Fanboys are more respectable than you. They don’t claim to be anything else. And yes, your targets are more respectable than you. Their channels aren’t based on hypocrisy THIS deeply rooted.

I regret ever watching you because you were clearly speaking out of your ass.

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Post-Edit:

So i edited a couple of my less explained points to get my issue across. Just saying this here so that no one accuses me of editing the source for malicious purposes.

As for why I didn’t rewrite the last two sections to remove my anger: that stays to prove a point. I had tried to stay neutral or at least calm throughout the video. But my frustrations just kept on building as you became increasingly smug and condescending, even though you called out such shit against others. I can’t even respect your arguments as arguments because considering the erratic nature of this video as well as how out of place some of them are (”Orange Man Bad”): it sounds like you just took every single compliant ever said about Volume 7 and threw it in.

You end all your videos saying ‘Examine Your Fandom’. Did you ever do that yourself?

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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years ago

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mtmte liveblog issues 4&5

its delphi time babey

I'm sorry but drift & co look like such fuckin nerds on their scooter things on the cover lmaooo

oh god. seeing the first page just reminded me of how horribly confused i was for this whole little arc the first time i read it. i was like ok, who are all these new characters, and also why does everyone look so similar

anyways now i now what's going on. i love first aid

love the running continuity of rung being the literal only psychologist on cybertron (except for fr*id but that's later). no wonder everyone's fucked up they all have to share a single therapist

ok i find it extremely funny that first aid was demoted from doctor to nurse, as if that's a thing that happens EVER - I mean it'd be one thing if first aid was a nurse practitioner (which i doubt is a position that exists here), at least that demotion would make sense, but like...the doctors i work with don't know how to do most nurse stuff (like BP, cathing, vaccinations, hell even using some of the thermometers - that's all stuff nurses/etc do), so demoting one to a nurse would be a disaster (just like promoting a really good nurse to a doctor would be a bad idea). anyways i know I'm being pedantic but it Be like that when you work in the medical field and read something that has medicine-related stuff in it

i love swerve giving ratchet the tiniest free drink ever lmaooo

is that skids being a rowdy drunk in the bg lmaoooo

unironically i love medical statistics. keep it comin

i love magnus’s giant sternal chestpiece thing. its like a bird’s sternum but without the massive pec muscles attached

i love magnus and rodimus’s dynamic so much

oh pipes....im so sorry but this fun space adventure is going to be not so much fun for you

ratchets ideologies are certainly interesting, and i liked seeing how they changed over the course of the story

drift: why would i be SCARED of the DJD, I've got a SWORD, two swords even,

hvbhajkhfbsdjkf pipes really said ‘oi, you two - what's this, then?’ that's the most british fucking thing, that's literally something i say when I'm doing an overexaggerated british accent, oh my god,

PIPES IS SUCH A TINY DUMBASS. ILY SIR BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING

aaaand now you're covered in dead bodies, pipes. look at your life, look at your choices

drift epic sword moments

drift confirmed for the kinda weird guy who has katanas that he uses to like, cut up fruit and water bottles in his backyard while rodimus films him

‘i thought i heard...bickering’ lmaooooo

ah, so its covid

this arc is how i feel working in healthcare lmaooo especially now that i probably have covid

so rewind condensed the entire war into an 11 second long cringe compilation. nice

seeing the mechanical stuff past tailgate’s visor is so cool

poor tailgate, this guy is getting slammed with history from multiple sides. and like, bias is inevitable in ANY sort of recounting of events, especially controversial historical events, so poor tg just kinda has to take it all in and decide who to listen to

that’s...not really how immunity works, guys. also, you shouldn't be exposed to so much disease with proper ppe usage

is there even such thing as ppe in the transformers universe?? there are fluid- and contact-transmitted illnesses, so there SHOULD be

is there even OSHA in this universe??????? unbelievable

first aid, holding a giant fucking claw clamp: we haven't tried EVERYTHING............

first aid read a human wikihow article on how to jumpstart a car and took notes

i love tailgate’s ‘mom says its my turn on the xbox’ pose

tailgate has a point - he’s from pre-war times, where things weren't as grey so of course he would try to divide the two sides into ‘good guys’ and ‘bad guys’

CYCLONUS BE NICE DONT HIT UR FUTURE HUSBAND

go get some character development and then maybe you'll feel better

seeing the word quarantine is making me twitchy w/my possible month-long complete isolation quarantine on the horizon

drift pulling his swords on pipes and ratchet pushing down drift’s arms...lmao

poor pipes...even tho this is completely his fault, its still rough

also jesus, pharma and ratchet look so goddamn similar, reading this was so confusing the first time around

drifts idea of subduing pipes involves turning into a cool car and also posing with his sword

also. never gonna be over drift’s massive thighs. jesus man

ooof now drift has the rona. ouch

poor drift, his covid realization is getting overshadowed by pharma being flung around

first aid bustin thru w/the epic medical nipple clamps and some Big Boi Backup

ok that's an epic pre-beatdown speech from fort max right there, daym

im just gonna continue on w/issue 5 now for continuity’s sake. yay!

the cover of tailgate in magnus’s autobot school is so cute

and we open with an incredible shot of fort max str8 up ripping a guy in half. i mean, to be fair, he DID just give an epic speech about how much he was gonna do that, and he certainly followed thru

yeahhhhh, fort max is not doing so well atm

when he puts that dudes head in his chest vent thing and then snaps it shut....man

also i fucking LOVE when their faces are shaded all in black w/only the eyes/mouth fully drawn...fantastic stuff

ratchet: phew i am not equipped to deal w/this level of Fucked Up Mental Trauma. u good m8?

ratchet is already writing up a referral to rung for fort max as this is happening

drift is just laying on the ground dying like, oh hey yeahh I'm still here too

i fucking love when punctuation is drawn in story - like here where first aid has a little ? over his head....fav

ratchet holding drifts hand ;_;

ok tbh ambulon having switched sides 10 yrs ago is wild bc like, 10 years is barely any time for these guys, especially in a war that lasted 4 million years. that would be like a human switching sides in a war like, 3 months before it ends. probably. i sense some math bs, I'm just extrapolating here

all that mexican standoff shit is going down and first aid is just like But That's None Of My Business

ah so ambulon is an asymptomatic carrier

and there's first aid with the save! iconic

pharma calling ratchet ‘buddy’ hbvakjdsbfhkasdf

ooooh i love that they figured it out - and i love that twist, that transforming is what triggers the start of symptoms. remember when drift turned into a cool car? yep

s/o to Ambulon Transformers for helping me in my medical terminology courses, bc now ill always remember: Leg(tm)

also this explanation makes a ton more sense (in universe, at least) than the whole ‘i guess we as medical staff have been exposed to enough Germz that we’re more immune to this or something’ theory

ah, i love the meaningless (to me) alien robot medical jargon

drift and ratchet hhhhhhhhh

‘I'm too wide’ fort max L O R G E

also once again drift is forgotten in favor of a bunch of other dramatic stuff happening vbhjksdfbjhskdf

godddd i love tailgates little flashbacks where we see how Important and Special he is, complete with his ‘bomb disposal’ arm label...augh its so good!

and tailgate’s autopedia page even reflects his lies! like, did tailgate go edit that first thing upon waking up??? seriously, I'm fascinated by tailgate’s meticulous dedication to his fake life

also the fact that ultra magnus believes everything he read on autopedia is amazing lmao

ultra magnus: you think somebody would just go on the internet and tell lies?

fuckgin love magnus’s long ass name/title placard

tailgate hvbahjkdfbjhaskf i mean, he’s gotten the abridged version of everything else, of course he would assume that’d be the case here too...but not on magnus’s watch

magnus cant even say ‘fun’ hvukdasdbjfkjsadf i love my uptight law dad

love rung implying that upon questioning, he would easily divulge a patient’s name and maybe even information about said patient’s treatment while under him....love the disregard for patient confidentiality and hipaa in general

not that hipaa seems to exist here, at least not in a fully realized form

also i mean the above genuinely, i think rung’s tendency towards at least slight malpractice is very interesting

poor red alert....super bad luck that HE was the guy to get roped up in that overlord business

I'm glad that, at the very least, red alert was able to prove that he was Actually hearing something to rung, rather than get brushed off completely

god magnus and tailgate’s interactions are golden

also tg is much more sarcastic/quippy than anyone gives him credit for tbh

‘thought warfare,’ ultra magnus says with complete seriousness. god i fucking love this comic

now i can tell pharma apart from ratchet bc pharma has let his true Petty Bitch nature emerge and you can see it in his expressions

the whole ‘tarn is addicted to transforming’ thing didn't really go anywhere, right? i feel like i noticed that on my second readthru as well

also pharma is such an interesting character given the context of him like, trying to strike a bargain w/the djd to keep them from destroying delphi, but that arrangement inevitably kinda making him lose it as the situation escalates. he’s also just really entertaining bc i feel like he kins the joker or st and probably gets into really heated arguments w/people on twitter about just abt anything

‘sound bomb’ i love this comic

another important facet of pharma’s character becomes clear around this time as well - how he’s really into ratchet. i also choose to read them as awful exes tbh, it makes their dynamic even more entertaining

‘killmaster, with the wand’ is one of my favorite running remarks lmao

also, was killmaster even a character before mtmte? or, if he was, was he an important one? it would crack me up the most if he literally didn't exist at all, but any way you spin it is still funny

ratchet’s tiny humansona facing off against pharma is wild

‘I'm miles from anyone i truly care about’ brutal, ratchet, drift is dying like 2 floors away (im p sure)

SUDDENLY DRIFT IS HERE, ACTUALLY

oh don't worry first aid, that sure isn't the last we’ll be seeing of pharma

so like, did first aid save everyone by posting that data log to his wreckers fan blog or something? lmao love it

i love the pretty fucked up reveal of ratchet having stolen pharma’s hands. like, damn dude.

and that wraps up the delphi arc! our first true ‘arc’ of mtmte, and a fantastic one at that. short and snappy and fresh, with some very clever writing and cool new characters, and a lot of great plot threads to be picked up later. plus, we got to see the beginnings of drift and ratchet’s whole thing (and ratchet and pharmas whole thing). and the lost light gets some much needed extra medical staff, so everyone wins!

well, we’ll see how fort max feels about this all pretty soon.....

#lj rereads mtmte #love me some delphi

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jeno-screaming · 6 years ago

Text

Two Separate Worlds || Lee Jeno

A/N: This took literally years because I had 0 motivation for like 4 months. But it’s finally done!!!!!!

Request: could you do the no one can know jeno version?? maybe you could switch it up with the reader being in a different company or whatever u like 💓💗💘

Genre: fluff, angst¿ I’m terrible at writing angst but maybe I’ll try

Warnings: none?¿

^^ do I prefer black haired or light haired Jeno? the world may never know

you’re the second youngest member of a girl group called Paramoila (pair-a-m-oi-la) from JYP Entertainment. you love being a young idol because people baby you a lot, but also hate that you have to leave award shows early because you can’t be on tv past 10pm. so during that time, you have to rest backstage where other underage idols stay as well as your Maknae

you always made conversation with them just to pass the time because usually it’s another hour and a half before the award show ends so talking to other underage idols is a good way to keep yourself occupied. one group you’ve grown to enjoy talking to is NCT Dream, Mark is the only member allowed out past 10 so the other 6 are back talking with you mostly, your maknae being tired and falling asleep on the couches

you began to form a bond with Jeno, he was actually funnier than the members say he is, although sometimes his jokes are cring worthy sometimes. also never ask him to do any cute stuff because he’ll slap you silly

you don’t see him often because you’re from JYP and award shows don’t happen often but when you do, you always enjoy your time together. eventually you ask for a way to contact him outside of award shows and such, he’s a little shy about it at first but he does give you his number

you saved his number as “Eye Smile 😌” and he saved yours as “Old Maknae” because he always made fun of you for being one of the youngest (even though he’s also a young member) but you looked like an actual 12 year old compared to your elders

so after about 1 month of talking over text, you two decided it would be a horrible great idea to go on a date, but because of all the crazy fan sites that are lurking around 24/7 you two decided to go to the cafe at JYP entertainment just because that was a private area on the second floor where fans can’t see up into

you get a text from Jeno says he’s in the lobby, wearing a bucket hat, a red mask, black jeans and a jacket. you run downstairs and grab his hand to rush him to the elevator where you’d stand in there alone. the music killed any awkwardness luckily

finally you two arrive at the cafe and sit down to talk and eat. you guys catch up on things and you mention how much you love the We Go Up album and he compliments your mini album Starstruck

you had worked on one of the songs for your album but you decided not to tell him which one because it was a love song that you wrote with him in mind. he’ll have to find out on his own

Jeno catches you off guard when he grabs your hand and looks you in the eyes. his own eyes speak 1000 words but you can’t form a sentence, until he says, “y/n, I really like you. I don’t often express my feelings towards people because I’m not good with words, but you make me feel some way I’ve never felt. Sometimes I can’t focus because of the conversations we have. I want you to be mine y/n, I really do.”

his words go straight to your heart as your face breaks into a smile. you nod your head, unable to think of anything to say without laughing your head off from joy

You nod your head since you’re currently unable to think properly and might scream if you open your mouth. so many thoughts are running around your mind

“what if we get caught? What if I only see him during award shows? Can I handle dating someone who’s way out of my league?”

none of that really matters to you at this very moment because you couldn’t be happier. you are finally dating someone you’ve had a crush on since you watched him debut with NCT Dream

he may not have been your first bias but boy did he know how to pull your heart strings. with his charming smile and amazing personality

not to mention his voice is so soft and velvety, sometimes he’d call you when he first wakes up and holy shit- nvm we aren’t going there. not yet anything ;)

so moving along, I’m try and make this shorter but also long? How is that possible idk

so to your not surprise, you two were caught staring at each other at the latest award show. your groups were on either side of the isle and you kept making funny faces at him, making him laugh

catching the eyes of COUNTLESS fan sits and fans in general. even your members saw it and warned you to stop (they knew you two were together) because of how much attention you two could bring

too late bitch, with the 2 minute of you and Jeno making hand signals and faces at each other, one very popular drama fan site took probably 20 pictures and 3 videos

So the next day, you wake up to a phone call from Jeno, you expect it’s just a good morning phone call until you hear him frantically say “we’ve been caught” your heart drops 6 feet underground as you realize that your company may have to force you out of your contracts

you decide to drive over to the SM building and park in the back so that no fans will see you, or at least very little. you have Jeno come down and open the door, he pushes you up the stairs into his dorm where the other members are sitting on edge. scared for the both of you

“We’re gonna go in my room and talk. This is a personal matter that me and her need to deal with alone.” the member agree and let you two have some time to yourselves

both you and Jeno can’t seem to sit still as both of you think about what could happen to either of you. you’re both young idols and could very easily be replaced by anyone at any moment

“babe I think we need to calm down. My anxiety is already really high, let’s just sit down and be with each other for right now.”

he nods his and sits down next to you. his hand molds perfectly with yours as you lay your head on his shoulder.

“I don’t wanna lose you y/n. You’re so perfect and I don’t know what I’d do without you. I know we could still be friends but I can’t stand the thought of not being able to kiss you and call you mine.”

all you can tell him is to not worry about it right now. you guys don’t wanna spend more time worrying and less time being around each other. that’s not ideal at least

after a couple hours of not hearing anything from either companies, you decide to head back home to your dorm and avoid any contact with your members or manager. you really weren’t in the mood for an confrontation

3 days later, both companies released a statement that confirms your relationship. neither of you were kicked out of the company nor treated any differently.

(Bonus scene)

3 years after dating, you’re at a restaurant of your choice with Jeno when he seems to be a little nervous

“honey are you alright? You’re very figgity tonight.” you chuckle at his flushing face

he sighs and says “alright. here goes nothing” under his breath. he reaches for your hand and sighs once more

“y/n l/n, these last 3 years have been nothing but magical for me. I’ve finally found the one for me and I never want to let you go. A long time ago, I was afraid that our companies were going to separate us forever, but we were lucky enough to stick through the drama. I want someone who’s going to be there for me through thick and thin.”

he proceeds to get down on one knee and pull out a little purple velvet box, opens it to show a beautiful ring

“will you marry me?”

you’re so overwhelmed, just like your first date. all you can do is nod and feel tears drop down your face

FIN

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ryouverua · 6 years ago

Text

Trial 6 - (Fifty)Third Time’s the Charm, Post-Accusation (3)

Is that all we are to you? Just a vehicle to solve your cases for you?! ... you know what on second thought don’t answer that -

Trial: 1 / 2

hello darkness my old friend

What an interesting reaction. Despite the weird back and forth she’s been having with Monokuma, he still had the Monokubs jump in to defend her - though with that said, the desperation of it all probably backfired in Shuichi’s eyes. The point is, her first reaction wasn’t to protest - I mean, she will, and she did a bit weakly earlier, but it’s to withdraw into herself and think. Isn’t that how we first came across her? Thinking deeply to herself and completely ignoring Kaede and Shuichi to the best of her abilities?

A-are you attempting to plead ‘power of friendship’ right now -

“There is no time for friendship in the court of law!!!”

Clinging to that idea is the only thing he had to keep himself going all this time, too.

Also, after pushing behind the scenes for him to condemn three of the most well-meaning people in the class (and, y’know, Kirumi and Korekiyo lol), it’s interesting that she seems to think that this line of defense will work - especially considering what he’s accusing her of doing. You’ve managed to do something way beyond just murder, Tsumugi! Aside from Rantaro, you set the groundwork for everything that followed! And I feel like this game, more than the others, really pushed the idea that the survivors share some of the blame when the ‘blackened’ dies. I don’t agree with that mind you, but survivor’s guilt is very real and very powerful.

Despite all of this, he still wants to be wrong and is happy to be wrong. Being awfully, painfully right seems to be a running trend with him, with the one glaring exception hanging over his head.

BUT SHE STILL ISN’T SAYING ANYTHING -

she’s just sitting there with this worried, anguished expression and I don’t know what I was expected but it wasn’t this?? Is she trying to frantically brainstorm a way out or -

Seriously Monokuma do you actually hate her??? Despite working with her? Despite being intrinsically linked to each other???

Anyway whatever that just means it’s cute comic time, nice.

“gdmt do I have to do everything myself -”

They kept her glasses on! Oh, they kept her glasses on it for this! I don’t know why that makes me so happy.

Aaaaw look at Miu tinker away! The animation is really cute for it, tbh. Also something about Korekiyo eating all by himself with Kirumi waiting on him is kinda hilarious to me...

.........

I just realized that everyone in the dining hall were killers/wanna-be killers of the game lmao. Also, if only the nosier people had been in the room, this could have been prevented. 8′\

.... Now I really wish we knew where Kokichi had been at the time.

i just have this screenshot because Shuichi and Kaede are cute here

What was the signal that clued Tsumugi in on leaving, I wonder? Maybe she waited a certain amount of time after seeing Rantaro leave with the others? Would she have been willing to wait longer if she needed to for Kaede’s plan to either work or not work, or was she counting on it happening in that five minute span?

This was a pretty damn good set-up by Kaede.

CANNOT

BELIEVE EVEN NOW -

!!! New Act 5.

Also no shit he would’ve been surprised. Actually, I’d say that was an understatement. What a great expression by the artist - that is definitely the look of someone whose life or what he remembers of it is flashing before his eyes.

RANTARO

RANTARO DAMN IT

I GET YOU’RE IN PSYCHOLOGICAL SHOCK BUT

oh god I was gonna say ‘did he not hear Tsumugi right behind him’ but 1) the video was still blasting 2) no, seriously, he was probably in shock and still processing that he nearly died and was a sitting duck

WOW LOOKING REALLY CREEPY THERE MISS MASTERMIND

okay now the glasses still being there is kinda hilarious but I love it

SHE REALLY WAS.... RIGHT THERE....

This is another redundant picture because.... I’m not sure. I like this group together. We didn’t know anything about them at this point in the game, but they really did try so hard - and hell, Tenko, who I never got to know that well, was already putting aside her own bias this early in the game to work with Kaito for everyone’s sake. aaah now i’m getting sad

Which was so believable because even Kaede thought it was the truth! I’m so torn. I really like Kaede, and honestly? I like the fact that she was willing to go after the mastermind so aggressively. Tsumugi did twist the truth, sure, and we convicted the wrong person - but I don’t want to lose the fact that Kaede only didn’t kill Rantaro because her calculations were slightly off and Tsumugi cleaned up after her. I keep going back to it, but that line of Kokichi’s, telling Kaede she lost the moment she let murder into her heart, does still ring true to me...

THAT POSE.... I’d been waiting for her to make that type of pose all game. IS THIS WHY IT NEVER HAPPENED? BECAUSE YOU WERE SAVING IT FOR THIS DRAMATIC REVEAL?

Damn I love this picture, and I love how we’re finally getting to see the first hints of menace in her expression (outside of the ‘backflip into a minefield and die’ lol).

So.... now what....?

DO IT I’M BEGGING YOU PLEASE PRESS THE BUTTON

Aaaaw, even K1-b0 is willing to hear her out. :(

MAKI ON THE OTHER HAND LMAO

“I’m giving you 5 minutes. Oh, we’re down to 298 seconds now. Tick tock, motherfucker.”

And... she has nothing. Pretty much nothing. I mean, I guess she manages to throw the word ‘plain’ out one more time - literally just, “it’s plain to see I didn’t do it” - and that’s... it. Not exactly what one would expect of the mastermind who was able to throw this all together...

NO NOT THAT THING

“Tsumugi I swear to god -”

THAT’S NOT A GOOD REASON AT ALL!!! THAT’S THE OPPOSITE OF A GOOD REASON!!!

;LKDFJAS;KJ

SDKFLJ

kalsdjfsljf;sfj

f m l that’s actually

amazing

thank you based tsumugi

Where are you going with this????

???????????

I think everyone who‘s played the game has this scene seared into their memories and for good reason.

HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME AGREE WITH MONOPHANIE DRV3 -

oh thank god

Wait no, Tsumugi. Wait. No, we’ve had something good going on between us, right? Right? Tsumugi please - please don’t -

TSUMUGI I AM BEGGING YOU

TSUMUGI

TSUMUGI WHY

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS

FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

......

WAIT DID YOU LITERALLY JUST CHANGE IN THAT CLOUD OF DUST

HOW -

YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT shit she really is the Ultimate Analyst

Wait, the 53rd???

THE 53RD??? THERE’S BEEN 53 OF THEM??? HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE TAKEN UP YOUR MANTLE -

NO FUCK YOU IT’S TSUMUGI GIVE HER THE CREDIT SHE DESERVES

HOW DARE YOU

U-UM

UM WHAT JUST HAPPENED

first of all BITCH -

second of all HOW DID YOU

SWITCH BACK SO FAST WHAT IN THE WORLD

third of all, which is really just an expansion of first of all, I actually still managed to keep liking her despite everything! Even that damn love hotel scene! DESPITE ALL THE ODDS I STILL EXIST -

“I’m pretty sure Kokichi copyrighted that. You gotta wait at least 25 years before you can use it yourself, y’know.”

hHGHGH MEGANE MASTERMIND SPRITE

omfg they

they’ve been holding back on this pose for the entire game

just for this moment

just for glasses!junko

............

fml I’ll allow it but I’M NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT

Also I... I still want to believe that this Junko persona was born from Tsumugi and not the other way around....

Wait, does that mean Maki and the others know what Junko sound like? How? Were there recordings of the final trial or something? This just makes me more curious about the time separation between the last two games and this one! Especially with the number ‘53′ dropped - that would mean someone’s picked up the mantle 53 times, right??? So shouldn’t it be at least 53 years? but then how old was Naegi in that flashback, and that’s assuming every person that took the role would last no longer than a year, but then - wait -

No, if I’m going to stick with the idea that these students were made to replace actual Ultimates... then maybe this is a lot farther back than I initially thought...?

DOES SHE HAVE A V 3 IN HER EYES

....

WAIT A SECOND

Which is why she’s calling herself the 53rd... So Junko Enoshima is a title that can be passed down. It’s officially bigger than the person herself - the same way ‘Ultimate Despair’ belonged to Junko (and she pretty much defined it), but was also a title that could be earned by other people... right?

“You literally keep bringing out your glasses. You can’t even see us properly from over there, can you?”

EXCEPT FOR YOUR DAMN EYES I CANNOT BELIEVE -

SHE’S THE 53RD JUNKO WHICH SHE HAS A V3 IN HER EYES BECAUSE V3 IS SUPPOSED TO REPRESENT 50 + 3 DAMN YOU DRV3

“Please, Shuichi? Please? Can I do it now?!”

omfg Maki why is the answer to everything murder ARE WE REALLY GOING TO DO ROUND THREE HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING -

......... b u t on the other hand we actually do have the confirmed mastermind here. H M M M M ....

AAAAH IT’S THAT TSUMUGI POSE EXCEPT NOW IT’S OMINOUS AND SHE’S LOOKING AT US OH GOD

Sweetcheeks is staying on track! You’ve got her right where you want her, kiddo! :D

“..... like, do you wanna go get some food or coffee after this, or....?”

“I DON’T NEED YOUR STUPID COFFEE I NEED A GODDAMN NAP AND A CHANGE OF SCENERY!!!”

I’m... suddenly getting a terrible feeling that things won’t be that simple. We’re definitely not far enough into this trial for it to end...

W-Why do I feel like I’m facing a Tsumugi-Junko tag team right now?

FML I really like this transition between her initial sprite and this menacing one!

I-I... I guess we’re just going to let her exposition-dump now? O-Okay...

Ffffffuuuu where do the weird memory shenanigans mix into this and what part of this is the truth? Because Tsumugi clearly feels a deep connection to Junko (lmao inner Junko) but the flashback light machine showed us that we could literally choose scenarios where people other than us survived!

MAKI

MAKI NO

I THOUGHT WE HAD FINALLY GOTTEN SOMEWHERE ON THIS

.... Whoa this sprite looks really different from the rest. It’s ripped straight from the first game, right? I don’t know if the colours quite match up with the others. 8′D

I didn’t realize I could hate the Remnant of Despair Kokichi theory more than I already did but then he, with the supposed talent Supreme Leader, was relegated to a mere follower. 8′D

Unrelated but I lowkey love this ^ line.

... Do you ever just realize how small Kokichi was in a moment like this.

Anyway I thought we’d already drop-kicked Remnant!Kokichi into the sun but apparently we have to do it in-trial now. Or, well, soon, anyway.

Himiko and the others are trying to stay on track though - on the idea that there are viewers to the madness. At first I thought, ‘oh, that’s a bit of a tangent though’ then I remembered Kokichi was the one who gave us the tools to get all the evidence to prove that so it actually does make sense to bring it back up now!

Bullshit.

An intriguing line of thought, but bullshit.

THERE IS SO MUCH WRONG HERE THAT I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN -

so thank god for Shuichi, who can help us get started.

#Shuichi Saihara #Tsumugi Shirogane #Maki Harukawa #Himiko Yumeno #Ryou plays drv3 #K1-b0 #Kiibo #Keebo #drv3 spoilers #spoilers

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thisisaworkofheart-blog · 6 years ago

Text

On Whiteness

I was a caucasian teacher teaching African American students. O at least, that was how my students put it. I would have said: I said I was a white teacher teaching black students.

For this piece, however, I am going to use the words white and black to identify myself and my students and if you happen to stumble upon this blog and you are offended by my use of these words: I apologize. That was never my intent.

From the second my students walked into my class, we were all aware of my whiteness. Or perhaps, I was acutely aware and projected that feeling upon them. A lot of them would later tell me that they didn’t really care about my skin color. Many teachers would express the same sentiment to me. That kids didn’t recognize see skin color. I found that hard to believe after a week into my summer teaching stint in St. Louis Public Schools. A student, whom I felt I had a decent relationship with, hurled a string of expletives in my direction after I confiscated his football at the behest of a fellow white teacher. The words “skinny white bitch” are still burned into my psyche. If I am to be completely honest, I went into the bathroom and cried. I was hurt. I wanted to tell him about all of the work I was doing to deconstruct my white identity and recognize my own privilege. But he didn’t care. He told me later that it was about the other teacher, not about me. Who knows. I don’t.

What I do know, however, is that this experience followed me into the school year and I resolved to be the socially-conscious-progressive-cool white teacher that I felt like my black students needed. I was going to show them that I was on their side! And I think I did to an extent. With the help of my fellow teacher and friend, we combined classes and walked the kids through exercises that fleshed out BIG concepts like privilege, race, and oppression. After one of the exercises, I acted as the poster-child for and expert on the white race and invited questions from the group of sixty kids. The first question was from a kid who I had limited interaction with prior to this moment: “Are you scared of black people?” Shit, maybe I didn’t think this out. I thought for a second. I mustered up an answer that my friend later told me was GREAT in which I attempted to explain implicit bias and the way in which the media fostered a fear of black people in white communities. I felt an obligation to be honest with them. I told them what I felt: that I was not scared of black people but that the world I grew up in conditioned me to view them as dangerous.

To this day I don’t know if the exercises we did were helpful or if my comments went over their heads. I like to believe they understood what I was trying to nervously express. I still relish in a moment I distinctly remember involving Matthew. I was sitting at my desk and I heard him tell his classmate: “I haven’t liked any other white teachers before Ms. Ellison. She really loves me.”

Victory! I thought. I remained high on this comment for several months. I had transcended racial boundaries. I was not just that white teacher anymore. I was THAT WHITE TEACHER!

A few months later and that worldview–whether real or imaginary–would come crumbling down with Dylan’s comments: “And this is why I hate white teachers. I wish all of my teachers were black.” Dylan did not tell me this directly. It was whispered in my ear by one of my dependable classroom gossips and confirmed by several other sources. I thought, hm. Well. That sucks. I felt my pride swell. Dylan, of all students, was babied by me. I comforted him while he licked his wounds after especially high-contact basketball games. I listened to and empathized with him when he told me he felt like his mom’s “whoopins” were getting too aggressive, agreeing not to call home anymore. I was in this kid’s corner. And now after a brief water fountain incident, he didn’t want a teacher like me?

On the way back to the classroom, I replayed his comment in my head. I still don’t know if there was a better way to handle this situation but, hey, I did the best I could considering I had no idea what I was doing. I ushered the students into my classroom and they could tell something was wrong. I solemnly told them that a comment was made regarding my race. I told them it doesn’t matter what was said or who said it. I told them that I saw them for more than their skin color and I hoped they saw me for more than mine. I told them I was hurt.

Seconds after addressing my class, I had a small-scale mutiny on my hands. WHO WAS IT? The kids demanded. Shit round two. I refused to disclose the meanies identity. I put the issue to bed and continued on with math. After class, Dylan came up to me and apologized. I could tell he was nervous and forgave him immediately. He explained that his mother had told him that black teachers were better. He told me that he didn’t mean what he had said and that they were simply said in a moment of frustration. I believed him. And I still do. A few days later, Dylan showed up at my door with a handwritten apology letter. He told me his mother had him write it. I was confused because I had not contacted his mother. I don’t know what conversation ensued between them but it didn’t matter anymore. I was secure enough in my relationship with him and his mother and my class and far enough removed from the incident that I could put my ego aside.

I was called a “white bitch” one last time during the last week of school and, by this time, I was invincible. Sticks and stones weren’t gonna move this teacher. Hell no. Moreover, I had mulled over the last incident enough to realize, I didn’t fault him or his mother if they wanted majority black teachers. I knew I wasn’t the stereotypical white teacher who ignored the plight of my black students and the realities of their lives. At the same time, however, I couldn’t speak first-hand to the experience of my students. I wanted so desperately to cast aside our differences and find some sort of common ground but, looking back on it, that was an impossible task.

Black teachers are able provide strong role models for black children in a way white teachers can’t. My boys flocked to Mr. Anderson, the only black male on our team, because he was the strongest male figure in most of their lives. Ms. May, my colleague and friend, began to wear her hair in an afro and it didn’t take long for my little girls to follow. When they were close to tears over being forced to wear their natural hair to school because their auntie didn’t have time to style it, she fawned over them. She defended them against the criticism of the boys who didn’t realize the gravity of their words. It is one thing to have a woman who fits the definition of American beauty–thin, tall, blonde hair, light eyes and skin–to tell you to rock your natural self…. it is an entirely different phenomenon when you see a woman who looks like you rocking the body she is in. At the end of the day, I could shower them with praise all I wanted but they knew, and I knew, that I could not relate to their lived experiences being black and brown kids of color.

I think I did the best I could, considering the circumstances. I think I listened intently and loved fiercely and that was what they needed from me the most. I don’t want the lasting impression of this essay to be that white people shouldn’t teach black and brown kids. Instead, I want to emphasize the importance of kids having role models who look like them and have experiences similar to their own. My entire school was black–save about five kids scattered throughout the grades–and half of the teachers were white, most of whom were also not native to the area. My kids needed to know they could amount to more than statistics. They needed to see their own worth reflected in the face looking at them from the front of the classroom.

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zumpietoo · 3 years ago

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Look, I’m really pissed that yesterday was like the ultimate Cole day AND had a shit ton of confirmation Jug won’t be Slizzy’s doormat again for a very, very long time...if ever....plus my entire gg of shipmates are spiraling and leaving in droves....so I’ll just try and push this narrative to make myself feel better, hmmm?

And it’s totally a BH thing! Plus I made Chip, Penny AND Used Napkin watch and they ALL agreed with me! Or rather even inanimate objects decided to go with it after begging me to STFU.

They’re professional actors and I’m well aware they’re great!

(also it would be “badly” Miss Masters Degree/Teacher)

And by “universally unpopular” I mean, OFC, I didn’t get my way and am a racist asshole!

Someone please explain why my entitled ass isn’t getting their way?

The thing is, I KNOW it’s bias----because I’m a total racist on top of everything else. Plus how can I delight in hating Cole/Jug if every narrative everywhere negates all my arguments?

Oh and I’m also aware THIS is the real block to BH----or at least I’m running with that, cuz also can’t accept PP fucked the dog (and a druggie and a weasel) IRL

I wasn’t rooting for Jug and Cora/Jessica, but they were horrible and abusive to him and that gets me soooperrr hot and bothered, so yeah, I got off on that. But Jughead with somebody who cares about him? GROSSS!!!!!

Also....really, BARFIE has chemistry? Dude, neither of them can act their way outta a wet paper bag and they despise each other IRL. Noooo...

I am soooo busy!!! And totes not bitter!! Or racist!!! Or a completely horrible, disgusting piece of trash!

It’s hilarious this is from one of the peeps who gets REALLY pissed off at the prospect of BH being ded cuz Cole doesn’t want to work with PP, huh?

Both Erinn and Cole have interviewed extensively that they enjoy working together very much----and Moonlighting was crap, you moron.

And Cole and Erinn do a great job....again, stay bitter, bitch. Not like it’s gonna change what’s written, canon or on screen....nobody GAF if you’re “disappointed”, either....

And you could just not watch...

Ummm....once again, if this were true----they’d have recast or gone in a different direction long ago. Also do love the ongoing, uber Republican anecdotal agreement as proof of majority arguments....

And OFC, wants Tabs as Mammy/Jug’s still a loser in her snide, bitchy, racist eyes.

Again, both are actually the two best actors on the show....so, yes, they can and do....and, again, your disparagement won’t change this.

Ummm.....dude, they cast Erinn entirely to be Jug’s love interest....are you seriously this fucking stupid/ignorant?

And guess what? They’re gonna continue....and LBR, this is impotent rage and can’t wait for your noobie/sock ass to get pissed off enough that you finally fuck off for good.

Gotta reblog to lick some sock ass!

That wouldn’t be what “shoehorning” is, anyway, buuutt.....”they know we don’t like”???? Ever think cuz they DGAF if you do or don’t?

Plus they work fabulously, you’re (again) a disgusting racist AND pissed off at not getting your way.

Soo....Cole is professional enough to have no issues whatsoever with working with his sexual harassing ex.....but then completely and intentionally flubs scenes with his new costar because he.....”doesn’t like her”????

Duuuuddeeee......

Yeah, the directors look at it and it’s good and you’re watching with shipper goggles.

Because they have great chemistry, Snorty....again, that your biased ass insists otherwise is immaterial

OMG.....yeah, a VD shipper is such an excellent source....duuuudeee.....KokeJ and Crotchi also have no chemistry....failll....

A) they aren’t B) why TF would they? Or is this a conspiracy to go with all the rewrites/refilming/curse/AU on a whim?

Ummmm.....I;m not making sense here, I just hate not getting my way. And, again, am racist

Yes, that’s it!!! They want to spend millions to irritate perhaps 20 randos on tumblr!! Because you’re THAT fucking important, cuz DUH!!!

Oh and in answer to all you racist cuntwipes? Go ask your kween why it’s happening, hmmmm????

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souljournaler · 3 years ago

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shadow check-in

here's some notes from checking in with my shadow. they've been a bit loud lately, & it's starting to become distracting. this is our conversation. I'm blue, shadow is red

whoa hey that's a lot of space you're taking up in here

and whose fault is that?

yeah ok well there's a lot of stuff happening right now in the world thats stressful

yeah well u can't save everyone

I'm not trying to save everyone

sure jan

so what's up? you seem to need my attention a bit more right now

you can't just pop in to say hi?

I'm literally doing that right now actually

ok ok ok so listen listen

fuck you

please tell me what's up

(career doubts due to feelings of personal inadequacy) & (fear of f*sc*st p*l*ce st*te)

idk why you even bother with a career, the collapse of the empire is coming. besides, no one wants your advice, & you've got no other skills. why would people keep you around when everything is going to shit? especially when u benefited from oppressive systems for so long & even strived for a seat at their table? do you even deserve to stay around?

man you know like most of that isn't true, but do i hear you're afraid of being abandoned by people you love who you've put a lot of energy into building relationships with. why do you think they'd abandon you? we have lots of cool friends who have stayed around they all the hard times.

no YOU have friends that love YOU. and theyre only going to stay until things get TOO bad, and then theyll decide we're a lost cause. especially when they see me

we're the same person mate. & the lads have seen you. & theyre still around

most ppl leave though

and plenty will. it sux but it is what it is. you of all people know better than anyone we can't please everyone, where's that energy now?

ok ok shut up fuck you, i get it

ok i have a question for you now

ya?

why are you afraid that something is gonna take over that we can't control?

cuz it might make me do something that scares other people, & you'd never let me hear the end of it if that happened. you'd probably even tell me it was our fault.

lol thats true. you already scare people enough without being hijacked by a scary entity though, so what's the problem?

LOL thats true. i wouldn't want to accidentally hurt someone though

again, you already do that without being hijacked

fuck ok yeah ig thats tru. i just would rather have my wits about me if I'm gonna do something stupid.

i feel like not being conscious or fully in control of your actions is probably a good excuse though if something were to happen

dude

why not

dude. autonomy

so you'd rather actually choose to hurt someone while fully present for your mistake?

that's kind of warped. is it a choice if it's an accident?

hm. guess not. is it really an accident if you choose to do the thing that caused it?

i think you just answered your question

so you'd channel again? full shift?

I'd like to. i don't really have an occasion though

you don't really need an occasion

i feel like i need an occasion

why

...

you could just be chilling

who would i even channel?

you could channel me 😈

i could. what would you have us do?

[redacted]

ok see, that is exactly why im afraid of full shift channeling, cuz you might do some shit like that!

I'm just kidding! unless...?

no. no [redacted] yet

yet!!!

yet. see this is why i have to rely on our higher self so much

i actually think [redacted] is a good idea if you're trying to [redacted]

please don't, that's really not helping right now

right right, ok, bye

bye

bye bitch

so you're afraid that whatever spirit we channel is gonna exploit my energy to make you do stupid shit?

yes

lol, again, u dont need me to do stupid shit, you'll do that all on your own

thanks

i just mean, the fear is pointless. at the very least, you don't have to be afraid of me, specifically, making you do stupid shit. you stop me all the time, even when our state of consciousness is hella altered. i TRY to get you to do stupid shit while we're out of it. sometimes i succeed, but if we end up too fucked up, even when you're literally unconscious, you know who steps in every time?

higher self?

higher self. remember that time we were drugged?

yes. i mean no. but yes

the driver's seat was wide open then. & higher self stepped in to protect us

that's nice of them

yes. "nice." 😬 anyway i can't rly answer for other spirits outside of us, since i still always have u falling for my bullshit (lol btw. you have GOT to stop doing that, or keep doing it, idc) but i think we're stronger than you give us credit for. between me & higher self, we wouldn't let anything happen to us. you need to trust us more.

ok. that's actually really nice, shadow. thanks

yeah, you know, it's just true, ok? you don't have to thank me for stating a fact

shadow you know you can just take the compliment right?

fuck you. anyway just, if you wanna channel, just do it

but ppl might think im weird & crazy!

ppl literally already think you're weird & crazy, get over it

you know we care a lot about what ppl think.

no. we don't. we care about someone sending cops after us.

ok true. what do you say about that tho?

easy, don't talk to cops

yes bc that's SO easy in these united states of america

ok ok, i hear you. so let's think, what IF the cops came to get us for channeling? all someone would have to do is claim you're violent or a danger to urself & others, then what? death by cop?

that's the fear, yup

what, so you're afraid of being murdered by a cop?

yes

hm. well, i would just [redacted] in that case

which would probably get us killed faster, actually

maybe! ok probably. what if they took us though? what would happen then?

probably a mandatory 72 hours, maybe longer if they wanted to keep us locked up

& we've gotten thru that before, right?

right. it's worse now though than when we were a teen

what are you afraid of there? other than being held against our will longer than the mandatory 72 hours, of course

you know, same shit grandma went thru. sedation, r*pe, & shock "therapy"

why would they do that to us though?

idk, i might not be able to mask that long & have a meltdown or smth. also not much we could do if one of the employees was a r*pist.

ok yeah that would suck. how likely is that actually, though? or are you just scared because of confirmation bias?

probably confirmation bias.

ok well then maybe realize that's not a likely enough scenario for u to spend so much energy on a block of fear like that. we don't need it right now. if it ever becomes useful, it'll still be here for one of us to put it back. but for now, what do you want to do?

i want to be able to channel again, full shift

ok then. I'll hang onto this block until we need it, if ever. ok?

thanks. i know you & higher self will keep me safe

yeah, whatever. you'd better.

ok im a bit tuckered out from that. good convo though, i think

toodles

Sol

#journal #shadow work #channeling

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odditiesofocd · 6 years ago

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snapshot

after this hell week, early morning awakening has been a BITCH. i haven’t slept well the entire fucking week (a friend slept over because it happened in the room beside hers, and even though i can’t sleep with people in my space, i also wasn’t gonna say no) and on thursday morning i woke up at five FUCKING am. and i. had gone to bed. at. three.

i was a literal fucking zombie, and i tried to be productive because i had all this extra time so i worked on my application a little bit but then i literally couldn’t stand up anymore. and thursday is my second busy day, i have class from 11-12, 4-5 and 6-9. in between 12 and 4, i do my readings for my 6-9 shakespeare lecture (which i love). but that day. that fucking day. i skipped morning tutorial because not only could i not stand up, i was also shitting my brains out (i took a laxative the day before) and just couldn’t leave my room. so i skipped, slept until 1, and then woke up and tried to read henry the 4th. which didn’t really work. classes were okay, i was a lot quieter than usual but whatever. on me.

the weather this week has made it harder than usual for me to take care of myself too. it’s hard on its own, but -35 makes it real hard to go on food runs. so this week i either just haven’t eaten, or i eat rice crackers with sriracha at night. and i’ve spent most of the week fucking triggered, although talking to three therapists about it helped. i almost don’t wanna go relive it with a fourth therapist tomorrow, but the 2nd therapist already called her and filled her in on what happened. so i was like great, now i HAVE to fucking go. i want to forget about it and forget about myself, and move past this godawful week.

i really struggled with feeling used by my friends this week, because everyone i knew needed something. i know i have a tendency to spread myself thin and i know it’s my responsibility to speak up, but i can’t. i fucking can’t. i’m not asking for them to grovel at my feet, i’m asking for a goddamn thank you. i’m asking for them to not watch while i modify my room to THEIR specifications and struggle to make their bed for them alone. i’m asking not to be shat on after i called them crying and then still edited their work. i’m asking not to be hung up on the second i finish editing their letter without so much of a “thx”. and i know, i fucking know, that it’s on me to say something. but like my therapist says, these are self-confirming biases that confirm what i (think) is already true: that i’m fucking worthless. that this is what i deserve. and sometimes, i wonder how they can all be examples of confirmation bias if they’re all actually just right.

#me #worthlessness #complaining #early morning awakening

0 notes

insecure-hbo-the-recaps · 7 years ago

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hella disrespectful

REMINDER/ALERT: Tumblr has locked me out of my original account and from now on I will be posting from this address. PLEASE FOLLOW ME HERE. Do me the additional favor of unfollowing the previous account though I have not yet figured out how to get Tumblr to delete these accounts that I am no longer able to access but that will probably simplify things a little, idk.

Previously on Insecure: "I don't want your conversation - get in my line up;" "Woot-Woot's dead;" "This whole open thing sounds super messy;" "I can't believe Issa's still out here seeing this dude;" "Did you really just do that in my fucking face?"

Issa's in the crib getting some moral support from Molly and I just gotta say I got kinda a bone to pick here:

Issa ain't riding no bike! You know damn well Issa ain't riding no bike! If she were she wouldn't be so fucked up after getting her car smashed. My ex lost a bunch of weight randomly biking all the time and I would get so worried about him biking in subzero temperatures. Getting worried about a partner was new to me, btw. I realized I never worried about it possibly happening that someone I was dating would die lol, like while I was dating him. He'd drop me off and I'd ask him to text me when he got home and if he didn't I'd wake up in the morning seriously thinking "omg what if he got in an accident and died last night?"

Molly is on Issa's team regarding the "surprise" facial. She wants Daniel to be fucked up on sight. Where is Molly? This room looks old fashioned and kitschy as fuck, and the headboard is different from the one she has at home. Issa doesn't want to see Daniel again, but that's not a problem for Molly, who wants to BRRRRR-TATTTT on Daniel with a water gun full of raw eggs.

Issa's pain is deeper though - she was trying to show Daniel that he was special to her and he embarrassed her. To be honest I am still having a hard time getting on the same page with Issa and her deeply insulted reaction to Daniel's surprise facial. On the other hand - I had that happen to me once and I literally never spoke to the guy again. Like in Issa's case, I assumed he did it on purpose... buuuuut, me and that guy kind of hated each other so it made sense. I guess I'm having a hard time relating to why Daniel would have done it and as such why Issa's so offended. It's a little contrived, I think, is what I'm saying. I repeat: a good dude wouldn't do this to you. So either Daniel is a good dude, or he's exposed that he's not. Accidental unwanted facials aren't a thing.

Molly is being a good friend, validating Issa's feelings, and ranting about how men watch too much porn and think that shit's ok. Molly possibly had an ulterior motive, because being in a safe space she feels ok to tell Issa she's still seeing Dro. "I thought that was a one and done?" Issa asks. "It's more like a seventeen and not stopping no time soon," Molly says, and SIGH. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS MOLLY? IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA. Why would she even want this? Aren't some men just generally off limits? Dro seems like the kind of guy, with the kind of history, that should just be not an option (particularly considering he's married). Issa still isn't buying that anyone, especially Molly, benefits from this alleged open relationship, which Molly is offended by. They are telling each other hard truths, softened by years of honest friendship, and although they aren't on the same page, they agree to love each other through the stupidity.

Yaaaas, bitch. Issa' still on the bus. She spots the latino kid again, who removes his backpack and Entemann's donuts to give her the seat. When he pulls out a PSAT prep, Issa sees an opening and tries to chat him up about the teacherly and tutorly pursuits her job offers. Surprisingly to both Issa, and the audience I think, the kid says he tried to go but was told by Mr. Gates that the program was full. Issa finally appears troubled by this now that she is confronted by someone she sort of deliberately left behind.

Lawrence Tech Start up. Lawrence is wearing a Santa Claus/footie pajama red thermal and it looks crazy. Colin the Clueless White Guy sidles up to him (in an equally ridiculous printed button up - buttoned all the way to the top naturally) and burgundy pants and makes small talk while Lawrence pours himself a coffee. Colin is all in Lawrence's business for no reason in a gotcha conversation that just serves to prove Lawrence and Arpant have been kicking on the side and trying to hide it at work. Cliffs notes they suck at it and their coworkers have sniffed them out.

Molly is riding around somewhere with Quintin in his wood grain Lexus. He brought her popcorn from Garrett's and while I appreciate the shoutout I've literally never heard of such a thing as RANCH in Garrett's - like - what? It's cheddar and caramel. Stick to the script. Don't try to be new and exciting. You tell someone in Chicago Garrett's is doing ranch popcorn and they will look at you wondering who lied to you. (Note to self: get some Garrett's for the first time since high school.) Molly tries it and is hooked. Quintin asks about Molly's "white boy" meeting: apparently she is going to shoot her shot and ask for the raise. Quintin says he's going to be in LA soon and asks Molly to show him around. Molly: a beat passes before she goes "mm, ok," because she understands the pass he has made at her.

SILICON VALLEY IS SO MILLENNIAL AND COOL. Lawrence is looking for Arpana to make amends for blowing their spot. Arpana does that thing of being possibly offended at keeping things a secret WHILE playing standoffish at the implication that they are anything to be kept secret. Hmmm. Bold move, Cotton. Let's see if that works out for her. Lawrence confirms drink plans, Arpana teases him, blah blah.

At the office, Issa seeks out Frieda and asks to talk. Frieda isn't all that interested, but then Issa presents some research on how to increase latino enrollment at their school. Issa beams at her in approval because apparently they thought of the same plan. Frieda is relieved that she and Issa are back on friendly wavelengths again, and asks where Issa's change of mind came from. Issa acknowledges that she's been lost in herself and Frieda was right. It's a good apology and Frieda is cool with it.

Meanwhile at Molly's Dro shows up with a bag of groceries and Molly's keys. He asks her if she wants them back and she says no. MOLLY. WHY. I DON'T GET IT. There are literally billions of available partners for you. What the fuck is the draw of being emotionally open to A MARRIED MAN? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? WHY DO YOU THINK THIS IS GOOD OR WILL WORK OUT? If you're going to fuck a married man in an open relationship ok, I guess, do you even though it's a thing on its own. But why are you trying to give the motherfucker your keys to your apartment? Christ, Molly. Molly gives Dro her bag of popcorn - that Quintin gave her - which cheapens the rapport Quintin was trying to build in that she tried to transfer it to Dro. I don't get it, Molly, truly.

They change subjects to Derek's birthday party and Molly sours at the knowledge that Dro's wife will be coming. Goddamn that man is tall. Look at him. He's like a basketball player.

ISsa gets a text from Tiffany who wants to know if it's cool that Lawrence is coming to the party. Issa screenshots and sends to Molly who is also offended at Tiffany springing Lawrence out of nowhere. This prompts Issa to check Lawrence's facebook, where she learns he has blocked her. She is really pissed about Lawrence taking their five year relationship to the brink of actually blocking her on facebook, resulting in another angry mirror rap. But she plays it off to Molly.

Law firm. Molly is sitting in front of a panel of three general pale men, pleading her case. She is cool and confident, all Law of Attractioning that she's going to receive the value she deserves. She parries their comebacks with all the agility of Serena. The partners agree with her, but are a bunch of stingy bastards that want to put her off as long as they are able to - they agree with her pitch and simply offer that it will be taken into consideration at her yearly review. And ain't that some bullshit? The idea of wielding that kind of bias because you understand you are bartering with someone that may not have the collateral to be as competetive as she could be. Stupid generic white boy Travis that is already making significantly more than Molly could walk into this meeting and be a threat if he suggested he'd leave because he isn't being paid fairly. When you're a black woman - what's she gonna do? Quit? She should be grateful she has the clout of such an establishment lended to her. Yadda yadda yadda, BULLSHIT.

At the school, Issa has not only decided what has been happening with their program is wrong, she decides she has to confront Principal Gates with it. She tells him they are discriminating and he asks what the problem is being the program is full - "now you're coming up to me with some 'All Lives Matter'?" Ouch. Frieda tries to step in and Gates looks at her, offended. Issa tells him that the latino students are being turned away and it isn't far. Gates again plays the "your tone is offensive/it's not that big a deal/calm down" argument and literally laughs in her face and walks away.

Lawrence forgot about Derek's party and wants to switch drinks with Arpana from 7 to 10. Yeah, no, Lawrence. He tells her his ex would be there and for some reason Arpana offers to go. That's a little messy. Like, have drinks the next day. Why insert yourself?

Back at Issa's, she's wearing a crazy dress getting ready to go to the party and Daniel calls. He wants to apologize and move on but Issa is still mad. She offers vulnerability and asks why he'd do that to her of all people. Daniel seems contrite enough as he asks for forgiveness - even tacking on a "please," and Issa visibly softens. She tells him she hates him which of course is female for "I love you."

Issa asks why their thing is always messy and Daniel, overestimating the strength of their reconciliation, offers that now they're even; he equates what he did to squaring things after Issa dogged him at the charity event last year. And honestly.... I mean, i won't ever condone an unwanted facial, but Issa did get off the hook pretty scott free for telling Daniel he was just an itch she had to scratch and don't tell her boyfriend because their shit was nothing comparatively. Like, Issa had to have known that was scoring points on him too. So, I'm gonna call this a wash. Issa is mad all over again that Daniel intentionally humiliated her, calls him disrespectful and petty, and tells him not to ever call her again. She stomps to her brother's car pissed off, who is apparently accompanying her to the party tonight.

At Derek's party, Kelli brought that random ass dude she met the other night - and good for her. Relationships can start just as well from the club as anywhere else - and for some reason Molly is wearing a black dress with random red armbands attached. And Tiffany is so fucking extra bougie as usual, like, she is simply not a sympathetic character. I can't with her Lori Greiner blonde wig and gratuitous bragging about how much she loves her man. How is anyone friends with her?

Anyway there is a random aside about how Kelli thought "Sweetie" was just going to be some strange, but she's meeting his parents at the mosque next week. Okey dokey. Dro shows up with his wife. While she's getting a drink he takes a moment to compliment Molly in Spanish. Remember Eric Jerome Dickey on Black People in California and how you could tell a black woman was upwardly mobile if she was fluent in spanish? (I have a friend who works in IR who once commented offhandedly that you only need to know spanish to liaise with poor people, and if you want to mingle with the wealthy you need to know French and/or Chinese. At the time I thought it was horribly offensive but now I know she was right.) Candace is awkward around Molly which does suggest she is aware and knows that her open marriage has led to her husband sleeping with this woman. Also this is apparently Dro's favorite dress which explains that, I suppose. Candace is wear a feathered burgundy cape, affixed to her shoulders with, apparently, double sided tape. I repeat: okey dokey.

Oh damn. That space is nice:

Tiffany signals for an extra toast, clinging the glass with a knife, to announce dinner is served. She makes Molly move from the seat she chose, putting her awkwardly seated at the head of the table. Issa and her brother arrive, and he's such a good buffer. Issa makes note of Candace and checks in with Molly about it. "What's up with y'all?" her brother asks. "Nothing, I'm fine, she grown," Issa says in one breath.

Lawrence's ridiculous ass shows up - in a nice denim button up - trying to ignore everyone aghast at him bringing a random date to this friends only event. He claims he didn't know it would be a sit down event, and everyone awkwardly makes room to accommodate his guest. See? Extra. None of this needed to happen. Lawrence decides to address the elephant in the room and introduces Arpana, who makes a crack about knowing how awkward she's made things. Yeah, that doesn't work when you knew full well in advance the circumstances were going to be awkward. But everyone is adults and they try to laugh it off. Issa orders a whiskey.

Mid-dinner. They are having lovely pretentious cultural conversation. When Molly tries to chime in everyone ignores her. She feels very left out and alone. J from ABG asks Lawrence why he's there, basically, and has to be informed that they all know each other because Lawrence is Issa's ex. By the next cut of passage of time, Issa is drunk.

The dinner continues awkwardly: Tiffany is fucking annoying, Issa's brother is a bitchy gay, and Issa is poor. Nobody's showcasing their best self, I think. When the conversation shifts to Issa's building being sold, there is a moment of Lawrence openly pining about how he and Issa used to live together. When Tiffany makes a toast to "the Barack to her Michelle" - so extra - Issa drunkenly comments about Lawrence's random. Enough being enough, Issa walks out. Lawrence follows. Oh boy.

He lies that he wouldn't have brought Arpana if he knew Issa would be there. She calls him out as being full of shit and tells him she knows he's just parading that girl in front of their friends. Also, she knows that he blocked her. Lawrence admits it, because he couldn't "stand to see pictures of the nigga you fucked" while they were together. The fact that Issa wasn't the one who posted them - parading around someone in Lawrence's face as it were - and that he accuses her of still fucking Daniel, as if that's any of his business, is more than enough to clarify that Lawrence is in the wrong here. It's all about his hurt feelings and what Issa did to him or owes him; that she would still be wronging him to see someone else after they broke up. He's bullshit, basically.

When Issa doesn't refute this, Lawrence lets his insecure flag fly freely and asks who else she fucked while they were together. Issa's voice breaks as she asks whether he's serious, especially since he fucked her while he was dating his bank teller. "And being some fake music producer's jump off is better?" Lawrene spits back. And... jump off? Are we still saying that? Also, he's hitting way below the belt whereas Issa was not. This is something that I suppose is an inherent misogyny in the black community that frankly at this point is no longer normal to me and is almost unforgivably egregious. So at this point I don't blame Issa for hitting back that Daniel has "way more going on than Woot Woot."

They both know that Issa has hit him below the belt now too, so they both go for broke: Issa asks whether all this was worth her supporting him for two years while he was depressed, and Lawrence counters that it is worth about as much as all the time she "spent being a fuckin' ho." And, again. Maybe I'm too far removed. But I can't see having anything else to do with someone who showed up with, I'm sorry it has to be said, an exotical to your black friendship group, calling your ex girlfriend a ho, and stomping off in a petulant rage. You couldn't come back from that for me, but that's just me. If you want to make the argument that Issa cheating on Daniel is equivalent to Lawrence mooching off Issa and doing nothing with his life with two years (WHO WAS PAYING ALL THOSE LIFESTYLE BILLS, MOTHERFUCKER?) and trying to hurt her by flaunting a new relationship in her face, I may be biased, but I don't think there's much room for redemption there.

Back at the party, Molly follows Dro to the bathroom and he already knows where her head is. Molly admits she wasn't expecting not being able to see him with his wife, and how left out she feels knowing that he won't ever be that way with her. Being someone's dirty little secret isn't fun. Dro convinces her that they have something too, and she lets him fuck her on the bathroom sink. I hope I am never this desperate for affection. And I'm not being hard on Molly, really. But I think she's being very foolish with her emotions and it's hard for me to understand why she would put herself in this position, knowingly aware every step of the way that she's setting herself up for failure. Case in point: Dro asks her to wait for a moment and let him leave the bathroom first. Still, inexplicably, Molly is hurt by this. Girl, please. You wanna play that big girl's game, but on your big girl panties then. She steps out to find Issa waiting for the bathroom. Issa wordlessly straightens Molly's bangs and zips up her dress and Molly thanks her, for her nonjudgment.

Lawrence is driving Arpana back and she asks whether he still wants to get drinks. He doesn't answer.

Molly finally calls her mom back, and tells her she just needed some time. She asks why Mom stayed with Dad, and Mom replies that she just loves him. Apparently Molly is in the same headspace and asks how she deals with the hurt. I don't want to be redundant and point out that Molly's hurt is unreasonable, because on some level I do suppose that's insensitive. But, I just don't have any sympathy for this. We all do shitty things. But you can't ask me to feel bad for the consequences of your shitty things when you are fully aware what you are doing is harmful to you. If I'm doing something that hurts, I figure my options are to keep doing it and stop whining, or to stop fucking doing it. When she gets home, Molly responds to Dro's scheduling text that she can't do this anymore but we all know it rings hollow.

Issa comes home to a letter on her door informing her of her rent increase, and it's finally too much.

Her experimenting with ho-ness turned out to be a bigger blow to her self esteem than she could handle, and she's clearly stung behind Lawrence calling her a ho. That's what she was trying to do, right? But in reality it didn't work out so well. Her side pieces were not pliable enough, the one guy she was seeing relatively seriously compared to the others deliberately humiliated her, and her ex that she had partially built a life with devalued the time they spent by diminishing her as the thing she was afraid of being seen as - a tool, a joke, a ho. She kicks a chair then just lashes out entirely, breaking dishes, throwing tables, smashing furniture.

#issa rae #insecure hbo

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kob131 · 5 years ago

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https://rwdestuffs.tumblr.com/post/185845690162/taiyang-is-not-the-best-dad

Dudeblade, stop pretending you’re being critical.

I’m not here to say that Taiyang is abusive. Far from it.

I’m here to say that he’s neglectful.

Issue is that you’re gonna treat ‘neglectful’ as ‘abusive’ so this is just technicalities you’re hiding behind.

Because of things that are tangentially related to Taiyang but are actually more indicative of yourself.

“He was depressed.”

Yang and Ruby just lost their mother. What about them?- They need as much emotional support as possible, and if what Yang says is accurate, then Tai put his own trauma and issues ahead of his kids.

You know Dudeblade, you bitch about Taiyang talking about how PTSD despite not knowing it-

And yet here you are, talking about depression despite not knowing a thing, seeing as depressed people breakdown UNWILLINGLY due to stress.

And yet you think it’s okay for you to do it.

There’s very little indication that Tai got a sitter, especially with what Yang says later in Volume 5.

So we’re also suppose to think Summer willingly died to get away from Yang, considering that her phrasing Summer’s death portrays it as such?

Better start bitching at Yang then.

The fact of the matter is that Taiyang isn’t a great dad. He’s not the worst (That (dis)honor goes to jacques), but the way people think that he can do no wrong.

Numerous people have pointed out how flawed his advice to Yang was. How he projected Raven onto Yang, how he called the manifestation of Yang’s soul a temper tantrum, and how he used the “What if you miss” argument as to why Yang shouldn’t use her semblance.

On top of all of that, Yang clearly doesn’t feel comfortable in confiding him with her nightmares at all. If Taiyang had actually reestablished himself as someone Yang could trust and depend on, then she would have talked to him about her nightmares.

Taiyang still laughs about how he tricked an immigrant into cross-dressing with the Beacon professors as if he were still a frat boy. The Braincells joke was something that Yang should have countered with an equally scathing joke if that was really “how they functioned” as so many taiyang stans keep screetching out.

A. And yet, if we look BEFORE Volume 3, we see people PARROTING WHAT TAIYANG SAID. And considering these people all also happen to portray Yang as her worst flaw being ‘she’s too nice’ (AKA see her as a Mary Sue): it’s more indicative of your confirmation bias.

B. Again, from people who took Taiyang criticizing Yang personally and idolize her.

C. Yeah and yet you call me a whiny fanboy despite me and Yang having similar personalities. Bet you wouldn’t hesitate to call my Semblance a temper tantrum.

D. ‘Taiyang: Because not everyone else's is basically a temper tantrum. (laughing and crouching by her side) I'm serious! Once you take damage, you can dish it back twice as hard, but that doesn't make you invincible! It's great when you're in a bind, but what happens if you miss? What happens if they're stronger? What then? Now you're just weak and tired! You've always been one to burn brighter than everyone else, whether it was with your smile, or, well, I remember your first haircut.’

We call that cherry picking.

E. She directly went to where she heard her father was after having her only on screen nightmare. That makes no sense.

F. ‘Port: And, and, and then, in comes Qrow, wearing a skirt! I was just a TA, I-I didn't know what to do, so I just... I just left the room to laugh! Yang comes to the kitchen door while the three laugh. Taiyang: We told him it was a kilt! He'd never worn a uniform before, so he didn't know! Oobleck: That is terrible! What is wrong with you!? Taiyang: Hey! The girls all said he had nice legs! I did that jerk a favor! Besides, that's not even the best part! See, then we- ‘

Not only was it NOT just Taiyang but the laughter comes from how he BACKFIRED.

G. ‘Yang: You... jerk!

Yang playfully punches Taiyang, and the father and daughter laugh together. ‘

And in the same scene:

‘Yang: What is that supposed to mean? Do you want me to just pretend like nothing happened? I lost a part of me. A piece of me is gone. And it's never coming back. Taiyang: You're right. It's not coming back. But that doesn't have to stop you from becoming who you wanna be. You're Yang Xiao Long, my sunny little dragon. Taiyang puts his hand on his daughter's shoulder. Taiyang: You can do whatever you put your mind to. So whenever you're ready to stop moping, and get back out there, I'll be there for you. ‘

Mind you, she acted like her twice widowed, four time abandoned father who, if we’re just gonna take abstances as proof, has never shown to have his own parents around. And his response was ‘you’re so great.’

Your arguments fail when you actually KNOW what happened.

‘Ghira is a better dad.

“OH! BuT gHiRa LeT bLaKe JoIn ThE wHiTe FaNg!” I hear taiyang stans screaming and typing.

And Tai let his five-year old daughter go out and nearly get herself and Ruby killed by grimm.

If you’re going to use that “Blake joined the WF” argument as to why Ghira isn’t a good dad, then tai stans are banned from trying to refute the “Tai let Yang go out with Ruby to look for Raven” argument forever.

Hmm...

‘ Yang: (off-screen) I waited for Dad to leave the house, put Ruby in a wagon, and headed out. I must've walked for hours. I had cuts and bruises, I was totally exhausted, but I wasn't gonna let anything stop me. When we finally got there, I could barely stand, but I didn't care; I had made it. And then I saw them. Those burning red eyes... ‘

Nope, by your own standards Ghira still sucks. In fact, considering Ghira had ONE kid, had his WIFE around and yet he, by your standards, let Blake into rallies that could have gotten her killed, let her be near a psycho like Adam and manipulated by Sienna.

I mean, we could use context to logically justify that-

But you don’t do that for Taiyang so I have no obligation.

Again: This isn’t to say that Tai is a bad dad. But if we’re supposed to say that “He’s trying, and that’s what makes him a good dad” then that’s a pretty low bar for fictional dads everywhere.

More like “Yang and Ruby are the most well adjusted members of Team RWBY even though both Blake and Weiss had both their parents. And speaking of said parents: All Jacques has done on screen is control Weiss and Ghira had every advantage that Taiyang did and yet Blake was worse off while the twice widowed, single father who had to raise two kids while providing for them have come out with the least amount of issues.”

That’s actually a pretty fucking high bar, especially since the usual bar for fictional dads is ‘joke of a parent, abusive, dead, deadbeat or evil’.

Next thing you know, they’ll be using the “Jacques was at least there for his kids, which makes him better than Raven.” argument.

Speaking of the Bird Bitch-

How come you don’t shit on her? She did everything Taiyang did but worse while also taking a leaf of Jacques’ ‘Parental and Emotional abuse’ to the SAME KID and is even the root of the issues Taiyang did.

‘But people don’t treat her as a good mom!’ Says the guy with the ‘Savivor Mom Raven’ series.

Issue is Dudeblade-

Look, I still stand by my standing that if Tai really cared, he wouldn’t call Yang a “Thing he has to take care of.”

My mother calls me “a Thing” and I don’t like it. I can’t say that everyone is resentful when their own parents call them “a thing” but mine does it in a way that basically says, “Hey you! Yeah, you! You’re being a burden on my life.”

This is what you said the second time addressing this topic.

You are directly biased here Dudeblade.

Meanwhile, numerous OTHER people in the same situation as Yang proclaim Taiyang as a good father. People who should have a WORSE bias than you.

Combine this with your misandric tendencies and it’s clear why you spout this shit. And it has NOTHING to actually do with Taiyang.

#dudeblade

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